Posts tagged boss is a dick

TOP 5 WAYS TO TELL YOU WORK FOR A DOUCHEBAG

by Joseph James

 Sure, you may not like the boss, but is he/she really a genuine douchebag? Maybe they’re simply a jerk, an idiot, a creep or moron. But is he/she a 100% vinegar and water frontal enema? I’ve worked for both douche and non douche bosses over the years. I’ve taken the top ten traits I’ve found to be descriptive of douchebaggery You’ll find them below. Please be aware that the term douchebag is subjective to interpretation, but you’ll get the point.

1.) He Hates To Go Home and Expects You to Stay Late All The Time

My last boss was like this. He hated to go home so badly, that he’d call you up at 6 to let you know he was showing up at 7pm (the time you were planning on leaving) for a quick visit. Then he’d show up with some 2 hour useless Power Point presentation.  What an asshole.

2.) The Only Power He Has Is At the Office

I kinda felt bad for my last boss. Work was all he had. He was nothing but a little bitch at home and he knew it. That’s why he used to push his people around. Very sad. I hate it when someone is a bad boss for the simple reason that they’re a “sir” or “ma’am” at work, but at home they are belittled, sad excuses for people.

3.) He Wants To Be Your Friend Sometimes

“Hey, let’s go out to lunch”. “How about us getting a couple of beers?” These are sure telltale signs that your boss is a douchebag, This guy has no friends, He’s at work all the time so all he has are his subordinates around him. Hanging with your boss can be career suicide. The only thing douchier than your boss asking you to hang out with him, is you going,

4.) He’s a Hypocrite

The same guy that showed you the sexual harassment videos when you started, constantly talks about the chicks in the office as if they’re the produce section at the supermarket. “She has a behind like a ripe juicy apple!” “Check out her melons!” “Shake those grapefruit, baby!” This guy is a major douche. Every guy appreciates a nice looking women, but if you’re going to be a 6th grader when you comment, you’re 101% douche.

5.) He Rotates his Ties

This is a trait of a true douche. Monday, it’s the purple tie, Tuesday it’s the Pink Paisley and Wednesday is dark navy with little annoying gold anchors over them. And don’t forget bowtie Friday!