by Spatula

Over the next few months, Dakrat spent the majority of her time finding ways to slink her way in to various creatures’ dwellings. This usually took place after her latest dupe had been out on a long quest, but on the night of the terrible dare, things unfolded quite differently.

The morning of the dare, Koala-tew was impatiently waiting for Boar and Kitty to return from one of their journeys as cold-desert enforcers. It was a short journey, but it felt much longer to Koala-tew, as Dakrat had taken to following her around like an extremely annoying and talkative shadow. She wasn’t able to escape from the ever-bothersome Dakrat when her sister, Koala-wan, arrived.

Koala-tew felt bad for leaving her dear sister with such a vile and vapid creature, but she feared that if she stayed around Dakrat any longer she would end up clawing someone’s eyes out. (She just wasn’t sure if it would be Dakrats, or her own.) A short while after her escape, she received notification that Boar and Kitty would be back in the dwelling area soon, and she headed to meet them.

Once together, the group started conversing and sharing anecdotes from their days apart. Boar and Kitty told a fascinating story involving spiders, repelling, and the throwing of lunchmeat. Koala-tew responded with a recount of her day from Hades with the singularly most annoying animal in the cold desert; she made the otherwise boring tale interesting by adding her own scurrilous (and hilarious) narration of the day.

Although the lewd and insulting recap of the day with Dakrat amused Boar to the point of breathless laughter, he wondered if maybe Koala-tew was being too hard on Dakrat. When he finally caught his breath again, he asked her just as much. Koala-tew and Kitty simply looked at each other with knowing looks, and shrugged off the suggestion. Boar had never actually met Dakrat, so there was no way that he could possibly understand the depth of the patheticalness that was Dakrat.

Somehow, and no one can quite recall how, this question of Boar’s eventually led to an impossible dare: Koala-tew dared Boar to perform the mating ritual with Dakrat, WITHOUT the aid of delirium. Boar had a difficult time turning down a dare, and an even more difficult time turning down the prospect of having ritual with a new female, so he took the bet blindly.

That night, Boar set out on his task. He went to the dwelling central where the majority of the unpaired animals lived, and went in search of Dakrat. After hearing many hilarious descriptive anecdotes from Koala-tew, she was easy enough to pick out. He just searched for the most unfortunate looking creature in the area, checked to see that creature was making googly-eyes at Camel, and bingo, he had found himself a Dakrat.

Boar knew that the best thing to do in this situation was to go in quickly, and get out even quicker. He hastily made is way over to Dakrat, ready to start the mating-invitation dance as soon as he made contact. He shuddered once, gathered all of his courage, and went in for the kill. He did not have to do the dance for long before Dakrat was inviting him to her dwelling.

To this day, Boar will not speak of what happened next. All that is known is that approximately 13 minutes later, Boar exited the dwelling, eyes wide and speechless.

Will Boar recover from his encounter with the Dakrat? Will Dakrat continue with her floozy ways?

Stay tuned in-we haven’t reached the moral yet!